My letter to you...

Dear you,
I don't know how you can be so cruel,
suck our blood and drain our life like a ghoul.

Ive known you long enough,
to know what you've promised is actually a bluff.

You know what?
Now, I don't care.
The day you pledged was the day I pray.
Everything I saw from the news is your warfare,
to separate our people for the jewelry you wear.

I've had enough,
your game is too rough,
I'm just a man speaking on behalf,
we just want justice, is it so tough?

Since young, I sang your song,
with Vijay, Ali and Chong.
But what went wrong???
Suddenly Ali holds the keris and everything seems wrong?

So long, my loved one,
I've took a dive to trade the gun with the sun,
It's no fun,
but I had to provide my family with bun.

Sometimes, I think I was forced to leave,
I love you, but in you, I don't believe.

What will my children be if I stay with you???
They'll either cry or be like you...
That's why I choose the kangaroo,
No, the moon isn't that round,
but at least I am not pushed around.

Here I am with my wine,
and I know I'll shine,
because the kangaroos don't think that I'm a swine....

Your love,
Leonard

Mind your own business

I received a forwarded sms from a friend lately that asked everyone to take off any religious article in the car such as rosary and car sticker that indicates they are Christian because people will harm you if they know that you are a christian. I ignored the sms, kept my rosary in my car and deleted the sms. Although we must be aware of our surrounding and try not to place ourselves in danger, I will not back down on this.

I am a Catholic, follower of Christ and I am proud to be so. Why should I be worry that people will harm me because of what I believe? Should I just proclaim other faith to avoid placing myself in danger? I will not, I never will. God has stand by me in every moment of my life, through good and bad, and He has blessed me with every wonderful things that has happened to me. I will do the same to Him.

Christian teachings say that we should be tolerant, forgive and love your enemy, be a peace keeper and stand up for any injustice. But there is a big different of being tolerant and being indifferent. Being tolerant is to accept other people's point of view without jeopardizing one's value and believe. For example, in a marriage life, there are always arguments, what keeps a marriage going is for both husband and wife to accept different point of view and work together to find a solution best suits both party. It is not stand back and says, "Hey, do what you like, because I don't care.".

Being tolerant is not a simple thing to do, as you need to put down your ego, evaluate both opinions and come out with a compromised plan calmly. Being indifferent is a lot easier, just back off, let the other party do whatever they want as long as you're not harmed. In other word, just mind your own business.

"Mind your own business", I always hear this term. But can we really do that? Or should we really do that? We can't and we shouldn't. We are living in a society where everything is interconnected, what happens to our political scene will transverse into our everyday living, finance, education, social welfare and security.

I used to think that politics are for big guns and businessmen, as I am only a normal middle class, there is nothing to do with me. But I was wrong, politic has everything to do with everyone of us. Unstable political scene will bring a country down like a shooting star. That is why I choose to do what I can, at least to keep myself aware of the political situation in our country, I signed a few petitions before that asked the government not to relocate the church, use of the word "Allah" in Herald and to abolish the coal power plant project in East Coast Sabah. Although that is not a major effort, but I will support any movement that speaks up my mind and stand for justice. I will not go on strike but I will do whatever I can within my own limit to stand up for justice and peace. For our good and our children's future.

God has stand by me in every moment of my life, through good and bad, and He has blessed me with every wonderful things that has happened to me. I will do the same to Him.

My life changed from the moment I took my wedding vow.

Last week, I brought my wife and my children to Alor Setar, it's a promise I made to my wife that we'll try to visit her parents at least once a year. For all the sacrifice she has made, to quit her bright career and become a "Home Minister", and to take care of our children night and day, that is the least I can do.

We fly from Kota Kinabalu to Kuala Lumpur, stay a night in Puchong then fly from Kuala Lumpur to Alor Setar the next morning. I have been flying quite often since 9 years ago while studying in Melaka, and my friends used to tease me that I fly more than they take bus. But this time, I have to bring a toddler (Joel) and an infant (Amanda), with big and small luggage, I've never felt so tired flying before.

I was in Alor Setar for 4 days, while my wife and children stays back in Alor Setar for another 2 weeks. On the day when I was going to fly back to KK, I tried to feed both of my children whenever I can, tug them in whenever they're tired and play with them whenever they're awake.

Joel was specially naughty, refusing everything he normally would have wanted, throwing his pacifier to places that are hard to reach. Amanda was exceptionally cute, laughing and smiling whenever I talked to her. I guess maybe Joel somehow notice I was going to leave him for 2 weeks and Amanda is too young to notice that.

My mother in law drive me to the air port, with my wife sitting at passenger side, Joel and I was sitting at backseat. When we starts our journey, Joel rest his head on my chest, tug his arms around my waist and wasn't making any noise, occasionally making eye contact with me.

When we reach the air port, I went to check myself in, then I return to the car to say good bye to Joel, my wife and my mother in law. After saying good bye to my mother in law, hug and kiss my wife, I told Joel that I need to get back to work. I kissed and hugged him, he waved to me said, ""Bye-bye". I closed the car door walk straight up to the entry door without looking back, although I did not look back, I was constantly looking at my wife and Joel through the reflection of the glass door. I can see that Joel was throwing his tantrum, I really wanted to turn back and hugged him again, but I knew that would make things worst.

Once again, I was flying by my own just like those days before I get married. I used to enjoy flying alone, but not this time, I don't know what to do during the flight, I'm not used to sitting in the plane, getting ready for take off, then wait for landing. I don't like flying alone anymore.

My father fetched me from the air port, got back at around 1am. I looked around and I see familiar place, but something is lacking. I don't hear Joel and Amanda laughing and crying, I don't hear my wife 'reporting' her daily cores. When we were planning our itinerary, I was thinking that I can finally have a good night sleep for 2 weeks. But I was wrong, I couldn't sleep tight for whole night.

I couldn't imagine how my life would be if I weren't married and didn't have 2 wonderful, cheerful kids. My life changed from the moment I took my wedding vow.

To help or to be cheated

I got cheated few weeks ago when all I wanted to do was to help.

They were standing by the road side just around the corner of the junction to my housing area, it was around a hot day and they were sweating while waving their hand try go get help. Few cars passed by them without even stopping to offer any kind of help. Although the couple are total strangers to me, I've decided to stop and see if I could offer any help. They claimed they were on business trip, and their friend was at oversea, they are stranded and didn't know what to do. They asked for some money to get by the night, I offered some money to them.

When I got back, I sat myself down, thinking at what happened, I suddenly felt that I was being cheated, I told my wife and we decided to call the police. About half an hour later, the police called back, saying that their patrol car was there to investigate, but the couple fled when they saw the police patrol car.

There you go, I was being cheated. How much??? Around 100 over ringgit.

100 over ringgit can feed myself for over a week, but that wasn't the main issue here. The notion that I was being cheated because I wanted to help, really make me sick.

It keeps me thinking, is it worthy to offer help when you are at risk of being cheated. While there are genuine cases that really need help, the risk of being cheated of personal possession and even lead to kidnap cases that might be life threatening, is too high.

If you asked me if I will offer help to people asking for help few weeks ago, I would say a definite no. But think over it, and I've realized that if there were a day when I needed help, I would really much loved a helping hand. Yes, I will still do what I would normally do, to offer help whenever I think I should and I could, but I'll be more aware of the situation.

Orange Life

Orange is one of the common fruits that we can get easily nowadays, and eating an orange is nothing new to everyone.

Looking at the orange, the skin layer doesn't look appealing. Normally, people will peel the skin layer, consume the fruit, then throw away the seed.

The orange to me sort of symbolizes our journey through life. At first life seems boring and unappealing. When we start to peel away the tasteless outer layer of our physical existence we suddenly realize there is a world of sweet, wonderful existence to consume.

We may not be the most beautiful looking person in the world, but if you make an effort to search deep inside yourself, you will be able to find the goodness and the juiciness of life. Many cold hearted people do not want to take the time and effort to 'peel' the orange and look within themselves to find the greatness in life.

After you have 'peel' the outer layer of orange revealing the juicy fruit, you then consume and enjoy the greatness of the orange. All you have now is the seed and to many people the experience just end there. Many people just think that this tiny seed is a waste and just throw it away.

Just like our life, even if you have a great life and able to enjoy your life to the fullest, everyone will face the death one day. Some people view death as a sad and hard ending to their story. But inside each and everyone of us laid a seed, a seed to continue, a seed of life.

If only you can plant the seed, you will find out that life doesn't end there, in fact it is the beginning of another great life that will make us more glorious. We may blossom as a tree, giving life ans sustenance to many more generations.

It is true that it is not easy to know the purpose of life, and everyone will go through a period of soul searching. But the 'secret' of life is not hidden, it is everywhere in the nature of us to see. All we need is to take time for ourselves, peel the outer layer, enjoy the fruit and plant the seed.

A husband's thought on his wife

I wake up every morning,
thinking that I must be dreaming.
To wake up besides you,
knowing that you feel the same as I do.

Thank you for being with me always,
with the look in your eyes and smile on your face.
Thank you for the things you’ve done,
bearing the pain to give birth to our son.

It’s been 7 years, 3 months, 17 days, 18 hours since we met then,
like the song I sang, "Now and forever, I'll be your man".
Whatever I’ve done, you’re there to forgive,
with a gentle kiss right on my lips.

It’s been 1 years, 11 months, 28 days, 5 hours since you marry me,
you’ve been a great wife, sweeter than honey.
Although I've never say it out,
that I love you and you make me proud.

Love always,
Leonard
13 June, 2009
2.18pm
Starbuck (KKIA)

28 years old chap

I was born in 6^th May 1981, so that makes me 28 years old now.

How I celebrated my birthday? My parents together with my wife, my son and I went for “Seremban Baked Crab” branch in KK last weekend. It was a great get together dinner because it was meant to celebrate something, my birthday. All the dishes was so sweet, the crab and beer combination was superb. Although we often eat out as a family, every dish was at the right taste, even the rice taste nicer, perhaps that is how things taste like when someone is in happy mood.

My wife and I then went for a movie in GSC, 1 Borneo using the birthday treat that they offer for GSC members. I have to admit that this is the first movie in a year for my wife and I, we watch “Fast and Furious 4”, although it is an action movie, it felt like a romance movie to me, I felt we are still dating each other.

On Monday night, my friends in KK celebrated my birthday with me in Brass Monkey. We had a nice dinner and again, the steak and beer combination was superb. I guess beer goes well with everything for me… hehehe… We had a great gathering, we can talked about almost everything, joke about almost everything. Although the

topic was a lot different from those 10 years back, the fun wasn’t much different. I guess the change in time doesn’t change anything in our friendship.

On my birthday, my wife was having tuition at night from 7.30pm to 9.30pm, but she shifted the time from 7pm to 9pm and we’re to have supper together. After dinner, my wife took out a cake, it’s my birthday cake…Wow, I have to admit that I was surprise, I never thought that I can still have my birthday cake. After that I leant that my wife asked around which cake shop is nicer besides Secret Recipe, and she booked a cake for my birthday a day before. Of course, the cake taste nice, and the sweetness lingers in me until now. Exaggerating? Well, the sweet taste in my mouth may have passed, but I still feel sweet until now.

Then I went to take my bath to prepare myself for our supper. Like what I always do, I switch on the laptop just wanting to check e-mails and news. And there is a surprise waiting me, my ever passionate and loving wife has prepared a birthday card for me.

Finally, we're ready to go for my birthday supper. We went to McDonald and bought McValue meal. Then I brought my wife to Tg Aru beach, we sat on the beach, we enjoyed the sea breeze, we enjoyed the moon, we enjoyed the sound of the wave, we enjoyed the food, we just enjoyed everything that night.

There's a big difference celebrating my 25th birthday and my 28th birthday. The most important thing for me now is my family, I can easily be satisfied now only by having simple meal together. And that is my idea of normal and happy life, anything we do, even it is something very simple, as long as we do it together as a family, I'll be happy.

I'm not a saint, my birthday wish is not to have world peace. My only aim, is to be able to guide my family into being together always.